New York Sports Bum

Football’s back which means it’s time for the annual draft of the Wahoo league. DFreed and I joined Wahoo a couple of years ago at the behest of our friend Schnizz, who was recruiting replacements for the league he created with his friends in college. I went to Summer Camp with some of them, so I knew, and liked many of the owners. In just our second year at the helm, The Big Blue Wrecking Crew (BBWC) won the league Championship, and this year we’re looking forward to defending our throne.

Wahoo is a holdover league, with an auction style draft. DFreed and I are work well together. We trust each other’s knowledge of the game. I know that DFreed is going to pick through the scouting report and Facebook account of every available player in the league, while he understands the considerable odds of me going all Shooter from Hoosiers as the draft wears on, shouting out undeciferible bids on Beanie Wells because I love funny hats, and insisting we go hard after Peyton Manning (which believe it or not, is what our friend Schnizz did!).

DFreed reads every scouting report, and then copies them, and leaves them in my mailbox. This is helpful, because then I know what’s been done, and I don’t believe in duplicating work. I, on the other hand, found a great app that uses your league’s rules to forecast future success. This, and the bits and pieces I retain from listening to Bill Simmons’ podcast and reading Adam Schefter’s Tweets is what forms my “opinion.”

We are allowed five holdovers from last year. We kept Adrian Foster, Hakeem Nicks, Tony Romo, Dwayne Bowe, and Rob Gronkowski.

The draft is being held in NYC this year. The three important elements of a good draft location is

1. a private, well lit room.
2. TV’s to watch the game, with wifi to use our ipads (what do you expect with a bunch of 40 year old metrosexuals)
3. beer and food

One of the guys picked Village Pourhouse on 108th and Amsterdam, right next door to Columbia University. This place turned out be be perfect because they put us in a semi-private, dimly lit alcove that was the one spot in the entire bar that had no access to WiFi. Things brightened when our waitress, Pretty Reese, came to introduce herself. I called her Pretty Reese because, while I thought her resembling a young Reese Whitherspoon was a tremendous compliment, DFreed pointed out that he thought this girl was even prettier. Funny too. Especially when she tried to get me to order the shit Tequila because it was something like 25c a shot, instead of the Patron Anejo I saw sitting untouched behind the bar.

After the folding tables were broken out (did I mention this alcove had no tables or chairs?), and the lights raised ever so slightly, and the bar manager brought his “tech” guy to try to fix our WiFi problem (“tech” guy, who looked like he was too young to be hanging in any bar, told us “I’m not really much of a tech guy” and then proved it), I looked over to see DFreed frantically taking apart his large folding file. He seemed to have brought everything, except for what we would actually need in the draft to back up our extensive trash talking. He had left his notes at work, and he was panicking. Luckily, he had spent the last few days emailing me every article, on every player in the league, and I was able to retrieve enough information to temporarily calm him down. But DFreed was shook up. Which was not a good sign for BBWC.

A side note. The league refers to Units (I use $’s instead, it’s more fun). Each team carries over their units from the previous year, and since we were in position to win it all, we spent like crazy and it paid off with a championship. But that left us with a very small budget for this year’s draft.

The night started as expected with the star Running Backs going early. We lost out on some players we really wanted, but also made some nice picks late. Our first buy was Ryan Mathews of the Chargers. Getting him for $28 was a bargain compared to what other backs we rated in his class were getting like Ahmad Bradshaw ($36), and Felix Jones ($32).

Then Wide Receivers started flying off the board. We had a list of guys that we liked. DFreed wouldn’t go $15 for Chargers wideout Malcolm Floyd, stopped short of the $10 it took to get Antonio Brown from Pittsburgh, and smartly dropped out on Wes Welker who went for $28. The pressure started to get to DFreed. We were reeling.

That’s when he opened up our wallet, and got into a bidding war for Reggie Bush, and ended up spending $18, a little more than he was planning. “Reggie Bush was a bit of a stretch at $18, but look at his competition – Daniel Thomas couldn’t pass protect all preseason and got hurt 2 days ago.” He followed that with my biggest jaw dropper of the night. Surprisingly bidding $3 on Ladanian Tomlinson, a player we both agree is done, and who plays for our least favorite team. I thought he got caught trying to pump up LDT’s price, even though he denies it. “LDT was our 4th back. I wanted someone who plays. He is in there every 3d down, gets in sometimes near the goal line and Shonn Greene is always hurt. Yes, he will wear down but for 3 bucks, he will help us during those Week 5-8 bye weeks.”

He kept up the bidding on players I had no interest in. He floored me by grabbing Michael Crabtree for $4, although again, he disagrees, “Crabtree was Dez Bryant in college. He just hasn’t shown anything yet. He has been hurt the last 3 preseasons and is a diva. But for $4, there is upside that he could emerge.” But he wasn’t done, DFreed concluded his Dan Snyder like spree by grabbing Kyle Orton for $1 instead of the young QB we planned on getting for the future (Sam Bradford $4). Luckily, Pretty Reese kept showing up with plenty of drinks and smiles to keep my spirits (among other things) up.

Things were looking bleak, but in true Jerry Reese fashion, DFreed regained his footing, bouncing back strong in the later rounds, picking up the Redskin’s #1 target Santana Moss for $6, explosive Running Back Darren Sproles for $3, young TE Lance Kendricks for $3, and New Orleans’ WR Devery Henderson for $1 who ended up scoring 27 points for us on opening night (and who just became more valuable with Colston’s injury)!

As the end of the night drew near, we (predictably) overtipped Pretty Reese, and filed out of the bar that was now rocking with young coeds, feeling every bit our age. (Although I was propositioned by a very nice looking young man who wanted to share the bathroom with me) Somehow though, DFreed salvaged a rough night, and in the end it was, in all likelihood, more successful than he believes. “I didn’t love our draft either, but we were handcuffed, not only by our lack of money to spend, but other teams having lots of money to bid up young players.” Ready or not, let the season begin!

The 2011 BBWC

Tony Romo
Arian Foster
Ryan Mathews
Reggie Bush
LaDainian Tomlinson
Justin Forsett
Darren Sproles
Hakeem Nicks
Dwayne Bowe
Santana Moss
Michael Crabtree
Rob Gronkowski
Lance Kendricks
Rob Bironas
San Diego

These are the most expensive players in the league

1. Ray Rice (BAL) $52
2. Adrian Peterson (MINN) $50
3. Rashard Mendenhall (PITT) $48
4. Chris Johnson (TENN) $47
5. Andre Johnson (HOU) $46

The Best Buys

1. Ben Rothlisberger (PITT) $3
2. Drew Brees (NO) $19
3. Santana Moss (WASH) $6
4. LeSean McCoy (PHI) $21
5. Earl Bennett (CHI) $4

The Worst Buys
1. Brandon Jacobs (NY) $25
2. Maurice Jones-Drew (JAC) $39
3. Jonathan Stewart (CAR) $11
4. Reggie Wayne (IND) $23
5. Mark Ingram (NO) $27